Most people grew up in families, which practice not enjoying life and where members do not have the habit of saying that they are well and that they are happy. The inability of parents to rejoice and laugh is also passed on to children, who are beginning to think that this is how this world works. Another mistake is to think that you have to pay for everything good later. We are afraid to feel pleasure in life and be happy.
1. Stop complaining
What do you want when you complain to someone about your problems? You want to complain, not solve problems. It is a cult of lamentation – our invention. It is easier to suffer than to live happily. A healthy person will either accept the situation as it is, or will change it. A neurotic person does not want either. This also applies to physical illness – while a mentally healthy person is being treated for an illness, a neurotic person will want to be ill, because in that way they will have reason to lament. It is almost a hobby – to invent a problem for yourself and suffer from it.
2. Distinguish real problems from imaginary ones
The difference between a healthy and a neurotic person is that the first person cares about real problems, while the second suffers from non-existent ones.
3. Don’t try to help everyone around you
The desire to help everyone around is caused by fear, that they cannot love you for what you are, so by helping others you try to raise your self-confidence. Therefore, if you have not been asked to help, do not touch those people, but dedicate yourself to those who actually need your help.
4. Don’t answer if you haven’t been asked
When you answer unasked questions with words or deeds, you show your anxiety. Once I was passing by my girlfriend next to the store, she saw a dress and she said to me: “What a beautiful dress!” When I didn’t answer anything, she said to me: “I knew you weren’t a man!” I would buy her that dress if I she asked, but if in such a situation you immediately run away to pay at the cash register, then you are an insecure person.